When I was a child nobody knew anything about Attention Deficit Disorder or learning disabilities. Nobody paid overmuch attention to a kid’s self-esteem either. We drank out of the hose. If we got hurt, our parents presumed it was because of something stupid we did… and it usually was.
Nowadays just about everyone has ADD, PTSD, ABCD or some other named "disability". What they really have is a crutch; an excuse for not trying. And too many teachers and parents are so worried about a child’s self-esteem that they cater to the little savage, thus ensuring the child never learns how to really get along in a society that absolutely requires a give and take of privileges and considerations.
When we were kids, we learned to let the hose run for a moment before drinking. We learned the value of delayed gratification because it only took once for us kissing or swallowing a bug to learn that our actions had direct consequences. And we learned that we’d better be careful or we’d not only get hurt but also spanked if Daddy determined that we should have had more sense. Childhood wasn't about learning to build sandcastles from constant reminders of how wonderful we are but was about learning to build a solid foundation on which we could stand our adult lives.
What we learned as children helped make America a great society. I’m not sure we can still say that with the young adults that we've been rearing (and I use the term loosely) for the past twenty years. With few exceptions, the last generation or so of children that have come of age in our society have been whiny little self-centered monsters who think only of their own good, their own wants, and don’t give a single hoot for the good of the group, whatever group they may be part of.
It shouldn't be all that surprising. For years one government program after another has paid people for doing nothing. We pay farmers for not growing crops. We pay people for not working and then penalize them with a net loss of income should they try to get a job that covers at least a portion of their unemployment check. For years we have been giving our children a trophy every time they walk on the field instead of teaching them that only winners get trophies and if they want one they’d better first consider if they have enough innate talent to make the endeavor even feasible and then learn how hard a champion has to work.
And I don’t even know if we can get it back. We have raised a generation of people that think they’re entitled to that trophy, which in the adult world translates to the job, promotion or raise they want. It’s always been just given to them without any effort and they want that cycle to continue. It may be that we've reached some critical mass where there are enough people with this mindset that change is impossible but I hope not.
The first thing we have to do is shut up all the whiners. The next time someone talks to you about how unfair their life is, ask them what decisions they've made to lead to the circumstances they now face. That’ll likely set them on their butt. When they continue with their woe-is-me-whining, remind them that they’re not entitled to anything in life but have to work for it. They won’t understand. Try to help them understand by highlighting examples of your own life that taught you to let the hose run a moment. If they cannot or refuse to understand, remind them of what Dr. Laura Schlesinger used to say – “you got crap? Everyone’s got crap. Deal with it.”
What do you think? Is it too late for our society to learn to grab their bootstraps, tug like hell and pull our own boots on?
